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Sunday, April 7, 2013

This Transaction Is Totally Free of Risk and Troubles


I get the weirdest Spam in my email account...

Dear Friend,

I will open MY mouth in Figures. I WILL utter things that have been concealed since creation.

Do accept my sincere apologies if my mail does not meet your personal ethics, but please be assured that it remains top secret and classified.  It has been sent to you and only you. 

I will introduce myself to you as Mr. Marcus L.  Paracelcus, a highly placed staff member of the Accounts Management Section of The First Alchemist Bank of Alkahest. One of our larger accounts with holding balance of US$4,000,000 (Four Million US Dollars) has been Dormant and has not been operated for the past six years.

From my investigation and confirmation, the owner of this account a foreigner, died in August 2005 and since his death nobody has done anything as regards the claiming of this money because he has no family members…at least, none who were aware of the existence of either the account or the funds.

I discussed this matter with some of my colleagues and we have agreed to find a Reliable Partner to deal with. We thus propose to do business with you, standing in as the NEXT OF KIN to the deceased, and funds will be released to you after due processes have been followed and necessary acid baths have been applied.

This transaction is totally free of risk and troubles* as the fund is completely legitimate and does not originate from Drug Sales, Money Laundering, Terrorism or any other illegal act.

Also, after a successful completion of this transaction, we intend to give you 40% of the account funds, plus an additional check to cover whatever expenses that you may incur.  We also pledge to provide complete medical and life insurance during the alchemical transference. 

If you are interested, send me the following information via email to me so that we can start processing this transaction.

1. Your complete name
2. Your time of birth- as exact as possible, please. This will assist our in-house astrologers in computing an accurate horoscope for you.
3.  Fax number where our agents can reach you.
4. A description of your 15 most recent dreams (a complete narrative, if you can remember).

Thank you for your understanding
Regards,
M. Paracelcus


* Or, as free from risk and troubles as I can make a procedure such as this.  

1 comment:

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